Monday, April 30, 2012

A Passionate Life: April 30, 2012

Mother & Son

My oldest son is home from university, and I am so glad to have him back! It was extremely difficult to let him go in September. My first born leaving, going far away—it was akin to torture. That first week was spent in waves of tears: tears of pride, tears of joy, tears of loss.

I have three wonderful boys, and my problem lies in the fact that I love the little suckers way too much; it hurts like Hades to let them go. Both me and my husband missed him terribly when he left—my husband, for the record, cries more than I do, and he made no effort to quell his emotions in the weeks leading up to residence move-in, and the weeks afterward.

It was thrilling to watch my son set off into the world, yet frightening since this was his first big transition away from home, but I was so proud of his accomplishments and of the man he had become. I encouraged him every step of the way and put my own trepidations on hold.

Each weekend when he came home a rush of joy swept through the house, and when he left, he took a little piece of my heart with him. By the end of the year, that little piece didn’t hurt quite so much because he had taken such good care of it while he was gone. And now I feel like everything is where it should be. It’s nice to have him back... even if it is only for the summer.

I love my boys, but I digress. What does any of this have to do with living my most passionate life? What exactly was it that made me feel good today? Well, part of the university experience is the dreaded freshman fifteen, and he was not entirely immune to the sway of limitless pop, pizza, and buffalo chicken wraps. When he came home he decided he wanted to get back into shape and part of that routine involved going swimming with Mom.

I love swimming. The feel of the water rushing over my skin, the feeling of weightlessness, the sound of my breath and the way my body slices through the water with each stroke. I can lose myself swimming. It is as blissful and meditative as my yoga practice and it was a joy to share that with my son today. Even though our exchanges were limited to smiles and sporadic chatter in the car on the way there and back, and to words of encouragement as he made the effort to find his stride once more, it was absolutely glorious because he wanted to be there; he still wanted to hang out with his Mom. :D

I love my boys. xo
In gratitude,

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