Detachment is the art of letting go. When people think of detachment, they think of being insensitive, cold or emotionally void—a kind of numb, nonchalant, indifferent attitude, where we walk around and interact with people projecting an image of being aloof and uncaring. That is not the detachment I want you to embrace, Eve. Detachment comes when we stop fighting the flow of life—when we no longer react to everything that gets thrown our way but accept it and move on.
‘It is what it is’ is a valuable statement to embrace, in that it always is just what it is. The problem is not that life is the way it is and that things constantly happen and inevitably change; the problem lies in the quandary that we have a particularly troublesome habit of pinning the labels good or bad to life. Without that label or categorization of things, events and circumstances, things are just things, events are just events, and circumstances are just circumstances. We may not want to dwell on them or experience them for long, but if we remove the label of good or bad, they are really just what they are, another set of lessons and experiences.
Don’t get caught up in the label game. Move toward feeling better if you are not happy. Do your best to create actions that will lead you toward fulfillment. Change your attitude and your behaviours by following what feels good, and release the counterproductive impulse to label everything.